he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
