Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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