Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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