i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
