Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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