I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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