Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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