he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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