I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
