He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
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Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize