Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
