Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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