What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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