HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
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