Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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