Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
