can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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