Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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