id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
