he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
