she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
i've created a new STD.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
