you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
