I wish I could punch you in the face.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize