Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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