do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It was confusing and full of hummus
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
