I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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