8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
do nipples grow back?
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