The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
