and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
