do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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