You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
