Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
