I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
