Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
