I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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