still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
