I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
