Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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