New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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