how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
