he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
