The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
