I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
