how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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