How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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