Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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