all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My dick has a subreddit
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
