Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
