Got a toothbrush?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
bring money and cleavage
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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