you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize