we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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