I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
