1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
