I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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