when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
